Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day

Motherhood,  The most difficult "job" I ever voluntarily and wholeheartedly attempted.  I have two beautiful girls.  My oldest will turn 18 this year.  Somehow, I have never been "good enough" for her.  I love her with all my heart and have given her the best of me, and yet, she hates me.  I know this is supposed to be "age appropriate" for someone of her age to dislike their parents, but that does not make it hurt any the less.  According to her, I am despicable and a drain to be around.  Hmmmm...    I pray to God that this is only a phase and that someday, soon, she will change her mind.  

She is achingly beautiful, headstrong, strong willed, and very intelligent.  She is the most self determined person I've ever known.  In some ways, I see so much in her that reminds me of me.   Unfortunately, my relationship with my mom has been very complicated and painful my entire life.  I have wanted so much to have a better relationship with my girls.  I raised them so totally different than I was raised, but still, we come to this awful, awkward age of seventeen, almost 18, and I get an "f*** you" for Mother's Day and a litany of my faults. Hmmm...... Not what I had expected.    

I dedicate today's blog to all those tireless  mom's who attended all the soccer games, dance lessons, fittings, recitals, PTA open houses, parent/teacher meetings, and classplays.  To all the moms who stayed up late to help with the projects that weren't yet complete, or who helped study long lists of  vocabulary words.  To all the mom's who made God a priority.   I dedicate today's blog to all the moms who held little hands during all the mandatory vaccinations, orthodontist appointments, and surgeries.  To all the mom's who carted their girls to All Star practice sessions and competitions. To all the mom's who know that it is important for their children to separate from their parents and to make their own way.  I dedicate today's blogs to all the mom's who simply did their best.

Motherhood, the toughest, richest job in life.  Happy Mother's Day.

PS.  I know I have been away a long time.  I apologize for coming back with such a downer entry,  I've been busy and will have many (hopefully) finished projects to show you soon.